Hot fun

Aaaaand I made it! Made it to what you ask? Oh, just-

***February vacation!!!***

Awww yeahhh, it's that time where I get to reap the rewards of working in a school- no more hospital hours for me! I get random weeks off now! Work has been going pretty well (surprisingly? Finally?) but I've noticed that as these mandatory vacations approach, everyone falls into this mindset of just squeaking by until our week off (the "__ sleeps until vacation" countdown on the message board in the teacher's lounge doesn't help), that's all everyone talks about starting about 2 weeks out. 

But hey, I have a whole glorious week to just chill so I'm not complaining. I was hoping to be able to travel to visit family but of course that's not the wisest choice right now, even though the vaccinations are finally rolling out (I'll get mine soon!).

I'm not sure why I'm so relieved to be honest because this is New England and we're deep into the sad grey winter which means...

***Snow Days!!!***

Yup, yet another perk of working in school and more unscheduled mini breaks. We've had a few already so I should be well rested and not jonesin' for a whole vacation so much. Like I mentioned before, I used to have to drive into work no matter what but now, at the first sign of flurries, I'm pacing around the house with my phone waiting to get the word that school is cancelled.

Recently we got hit with a nor'easter which dumped over a foot of snow on us pretty quickly, getting me out of a day and a half of work. If you live somewhere that doesn't get much snow, enjoy the following pictures. If you do, cringe with me at all the shoveling I had to do (this is obviously a pretty big downside of a snow day but some forced exercise is probably a good thing considering the rest of the day I'm lounging on a couch).

The sad little trench M dug to get out to his car (poor guy braved this mess to go to work). I later had to expand it but that's what you get for being the asshole who gets to stay home.

Yup, that's my car buried somewhere in there. We had a plow come through of course but that really only piled up more snow around my car.

Can you guess where my car was? This was taken after I broke free of my snow drift after considerable effort. At least that massive pile of snow made it easy to brush the snow from the top of my car.

After a couple hours (!) of shoveling (I suggest getting over-ear wireless headphones for listening to music or a podcast while you do this- it makes the chore slightly more enjoyable and doubles as ear warmers. This revelation has really revolutionized my shoveling game), there's nothing like a big mug of hot chocolate and crackers with fancy cheese (caramelized onion cheddar from Trader Joe's, my ultimate favorite).

And yes, I may have indulged in a good beer at the end of the day. And why not? I'd recently picked up this stout from Left Hand Brewing Co. out of Colorado. I love a good stout but fruity ones? Not usually my thing. I was feeling a little adventurous I guess and their regular milk stout is one of the finest so I figured it was worth a shot. And it was! The raspberry flavor comes out strong but still finds a way to blend nicely with the milk stout base. 4.4/5, would drink again.

The excitement from my recent crafty gift wore off a little as all this of snow and bad weather set in my annual bout of what I call The Winter Blues. I don't need any help getting into a depressive funk but every year around this time I'm hit with The Blues pretty bad and I suddenly can't build up any excitement whatsoever to do anything, I can't even veg on the couch because I don't feel like watching anything particular on TV.  

I'm always surprised at how much this barrage of grey days affects me- it doesn't help that taking head-clearing walks is hindered by snow and ice congested sidewalks. I've started taking some vitamin D to combat this and am slowly coming out of my funk a bit just in time for vacation.

I managed to start a couple sewing projects as promised though, and they've been getting me through even though the going has been pretty slow. I feel better at least looking busy. I'm not finished but I'm close enough that I don't want to share progress, I'd rather just wait and reveal it once complete so for now, enjoy my awesome color palettes. 

The first one is space-themed and uses a pattern from one of my new magazines. Not my usual colors for sure (I don't hate pink, especially darker pinks, but I naturally gravitate more towards blues and greens) but between that and the interesting style of the piece, it felt good to mix it up a bit.

The second pattern I bought from Etsy and used colors close to what was listed but using thread I already had. I like all the jewel tones here. Can anyone guess the theme based on the snippet of pattern shown below?

This pattern is a sampler so it's easier and more pleasant to stitch. Samplers are generally made up of basic shapes and solid chunks of color so it's easier to turn your brain off a bit while sewing, which suited my level of energy.

As always, I have even more projects in the works, including a Vonnegut piece I mentioned I might want to do. I'm slowly but surely getting my brain back on track, or at least as much as it was on track before (I have a dubious amount of track on the best of days).

Right now though, I'm engaged in one of my weird new relaxing activities which is to watch M play Zelda: Breath of the Wild and yes, I'm celebrating the arrival of my week of freedom with a fine beer. I went a little local this time and got something from Smuttynose's Smuttlab, their experimental side of things. Magic Beans, a coffee porter, is pretty smooth (especially for a porter) and the coffee flavor subtle. Its definitely a solid choice, I'd give it a 3.75/5. 

M and I have been to Smuttynose in person pre-covid and if you're ever in the area, I highly recommend a trip. The food was pretty good and the atmosphere fantastic. It's right near Hampton Beach so if you want to wrap up your beach day with something other than the ubiquitous fried seafood feast, it's the perfect choice.

This weekend another small storm is forecasted so I'm going to let myself take it easy but I do want to come up with a semblance of a plan for my days off, or at least put together a list of things I'd like to accomplish to give myself options. On Monday I'm doing some shopping with my good friend and premier shopping buddy which is exciting but the rest of the week I'm free. I'm just sure that, even though I don't expect to do anything exceptionally exciting, I don't want to look back on this coming week and feel as if it was wasted. 

No pressure, right?

On that note, I'm gonna log off for the night. For those of you that, like me, long to feel the caress of that warm summer sun once again (and forgot how much you complain about the heat when its here), I'll just drop this song before I go. Enjoy!

(Despite having heard it a million times, I didn't realize how much of a random mish mash the lyrics are to this song until posting it here but having a random stream-of-consciousness litany of vaguely summer themed words and phrases still seems pretty fitting.)

Make it Snow

Somehow, I let a whole month go by. Aside from that fact that this is just the time of year that goes by at lightning speed, I found myself extremely O V E R W H E L M E D what with starting a new job and all, and some things just naturally fell by the wayside as my panic brain took over and attempted to cope with all the change. Unfortunately blog reading and writing was one of those things. As plant care and house upkeep/random chores also started to slip, I realized I'd crossed over that fine line of "making space to breathe during a stressful time" to "not taking care of business" territory and started the process of dragging myself back to where I function best.

And here I am.

I will fully admit that I'm one to get overwhelmed easily when facing change but as I began my new job, I realized just how... institutionalized I had become at my previous job. We always talked about the kids getting institutionalized, staying too long and getting too comfortable in a rigid yet "safe" environment that the idea of leaving was too terrifying so they'd do all the could to stay, but I never considered that I would be the one unable to cope in the wide open world outside. (reminder: I work at a psychiatric hospital in an inpatient unit for adolescents)

When I began my new job I was given so much leeway to figure out how to go about the tasks at hand- no hour-by-hour schedule, no strict procedures- that I felt lost the whole day and severely questioned my choice to leave my previous job. Here, I need to give a special shout out to M and my friends and family who listened to me complain about it and supported me until I was able to realize that they hired me to be an expert, they hired me because I have a lot of useful experience, and I can do this. There are so many positives to this job and all the negatives were ones that I created for myself. 

I am happy to report that I'm getting to a place where I'm trusting myself and enjoying figuring out how best to do my job MY way, and finding out that it is amazing to be able to do that again finally. I'd been on autopilot for far too long but now my brain is waking up again and it's pretty great. 

So here we are, at the start of the holiday season (my absolute favorite) and I'm feeling better and better about my job as we go- that means I'm finally at a place where I can appreciate all the things that gave me joy during a rough time and what continues to brighten my spirits each day. Lets play a little "what makes me happy lately" catch up!

One of my first pick-me-ups was, surprise surprise, a plant. On a particularly blustery and cold day, I wandered into Lowe's and found this bad boy on the clearance rack for a mere $5. I couldn't say no. When I went to the garden center check out counter, the woman couldn't get it to ring up so she just rang up something else I was buying twice ("it's too cold out here to wait that long for a manager to get here for an overrride"), making this come out to a whopping $3.50. I removed a few brown fronds (they just failed to water it- he was  healthy guy overall!) and now it's classing up my bookshelf area.

I also snuck this little dude into the house- a Pilea Glauca, aka Aquamarine. That's my birthstone, how could I not?? The leaves have a subtle sparkle to them, I love it.

I've been doing a lot of making things too- that's what's taken up the vast majority of my free time lately and is always my mental health pick-me-up go-to. Planting myself on the couch and sewing for hours is pretty therapeutic for me (who knew stabbing something hundreds of times would make you feel so much better!). The vast majority of my projects are gifts though, so I don't want to share them yet. I did break out the Bead Horde recently though and made myself a couple of necklaces. 

Those wooden beads move around on the necklace. I have a hard time with asymmetry but occasionally I like to give it a shot and I'm pretty pleased with how this one turned out. It's like "Asymmetry Lite" so I can deal with it.

I was into the color combo of this in a big way and who doesn't' like a little gradient?

These two projects were fun to make because I went back to some simple stringing. It has similar therapeutic properties as cross stitching I guess- you have a burst of creativity in figuring out the design but the actual execution of it is just repetitively putting beads on a wire. Very calming.

I also engaged in a little retail therapy in the form of these incredibly amazing Dr. Martens X The Who collection 1461s. 

Fun fact: Pete Townshend, guitarist and singer for The Who windmilled Docs from work shoes to rock shoes as he rose to fame wearing a beat up pair of 1461s on stage.

I have a solid collection of Dr. Marten boots (5 so far!) but have been wanting a pair of the 1461 style shoes for a long time. I just so happen to stumble across these on the Dr. Marten website for $75, in my size, originally priced at $125. Merry early Christmas to me! I particularly love the contrast arrow on the top and the red and blue aglets. These'll be some amazing concert shoes if that ever happens again...

Mental health walks (not yet in those shoes though- we have some breaking in to do), have been pretty vital and I've been trying to take quick 30 minute post work de-stress walks every day, weather permitting. It's extra nice when you see things like this on the side of the trail...

They aren't the only ones to put up a Christmas tree though. I've loaded my apartment with as much Christmas decorations as I could find! Including a 7 ft tall slender tree:

I've been trying to collect more weird ornaments to put on it. Prior to getting this one, M and I only had small 4 ft trees (they're up in different parts of the apartment) so we didn't have a ton of our own ornaments yet. My mom gave me a bunch from when I was a kid (she only puts up her super fancy blown glass ones now anyway) and the past few years I've been picking up a few more to add to the collection here and there. I recently went to a craft store for more gift making supplies and happily picked up my newest additions (50% off too!):

Dinosaurs, robots, and TARDIS! So festive!

Our subtly Christmas-inappropriate tree topper... any Doctor Who fans out there?? I'm thinking about touching this up with some shiny silver paint. I like the topper but it's so dark atop a bright and shiny tree... maybe I'll replace it someday if I stumble across a suitable alternative.

It looks extra nice and glowy at night, doesn't it? I like the red velvet ribbon garland- it fills a lot of space if you don't have a ton of ornaments- but I might replace that at some point too. I like a nice beaded garland, or maybe I'll find a silly one to go with all my weird and random ornaments. I also need to upgrade my tree skirt too, which is just a green/red/white plaid round table cloth, artfully arranged and held together at the back with a binder clip. It's ok though. I see Christmas decorations as things you just slowly amass over your lifetime and I haven't been out on my own for that long, in the grand scheme of things. No rush.

One of my favorite ornaments gifted to me by a friend of mine last year, purchased on Etsy I believe (shop unknown). Make it snow!

Speaking of snow- yesterday, Saturday, it was a gloomy snowy day, the first "real" snow of the season (it wasn't a lot but as you can see, it actually stuck around this time). It was perfect for staying home, being cozy, and doing a little sewing- a wonderful day off. This weekend I've felt more Zen than I have in a long time.

Now all that's left is for me to catch up on all the reading I've missed out on (and, now that I think of it, I should probably clear off my car so I don't have to do it before work tomorrow...). I hope everyone is getting into a festive mood this year despite what a dumpster fire it's been. 2021 can only be better! ,,,right?

If you need a little boost, allow me to drop a holiday classic to get you going. Enjoy!

I love that dirty water

I was supposed to get married yesterday but that didn't happen.

No, don't worry, this isn't going to be some melodramatic broken heart story, we just decided to push our wedding to next August because, you know, Covid. It was most definitely the right decision for sure- not everyone would have been able to come and the people are the most important part of the wedding!- but it still felt strange to think throughout the day what our day could have been. 

M and I already live together so I'm not sure how different our everyday lives will be once we get married but it's the principle of the thing. We were set up and ready to take our next big life step but were quickly snapped back and it's another year of procrastinating wedding planning, much to the pure anguish of my mother. We were planning on buying a house once we got married too, and that's also pushed back a year or so.

But ah well, what are you gonna do? Life's like that sometimes but we're both still here and healthy and that's all that matters in the end. To celebrate this fact, and our would-be wedding day, we decided to take the day off and have a fun day out.

About a year ago M proposed to me on a sunset jazz cruise around Boston harbor in a surprising feat of spontaneity and romance on M's part- M said he'd been carrying the ring in his pocket for days looking for "the right moment" and we started the day with our only plans being to walk the Freedom Trail. We picked up random activities throughout the day which included an arcade trip and a visit to Nightshift Brewery at Lovejoy Warf  (highly recommended) which is where, after a suspiciously long trip to the bathroom, M asked me if I'd like to take a cruise. Next thing I know, my mom's nagging me to plan my wedding. 

Anywho, for our wedding day take 1, what better than to return to where we decided to give it a go in the first place? This time though, we decided to take a smaller boat...

Yup, yesterday we took some kayaks out on the Charles River! It was a beautiful not-too-hot-not-too-cold day, perfect for kayaking (or getting married). I already knew I loved kayaking but it was amazing to be able to paddle around with the sailboats and duck boats, checking out the Boston sights from a new, amazing perspective. 

Paddling to Fenway! See the CITGO sign to the left?

We found a super-calm area of the river called the Storrow Lagoon where we could check out the Charles River Esplanade, an oddly idyllic park in the middle of Boston, while getting mildly harassed by geese.

That's the Longfellow bridge which connects Boston to Cambridge.

Check out the Museum of Science! I didn't realize it was directly on the water like that- were were able to get right up to it. Now I really want to visit the Museum again (the inside that is), it's an excellent one if you're into that sort of thing.

The rental was for 3 hours and we easily used all our time without getting bored or overtired whatsoever. I admit, I was nervous about kayaking around various boats and more open-feeling water but though we did ride some wakes at times, as long as you stick to the sides mostly, it's not scary or dangerous feeling and something I'd even recommend to someone who's never kayaked. 

We capped our day off with dinner and beer by taking a short walk to Cambridge Brewing Company which we've been to before and have yet to be disappointed. Guess which beer I got...

If I couldn't get married, I'd say this was an ideal alternative. Cheers to more adventures, someday actually getting married, and many years of totally rad togetherness. 

Enjoy a little Charles River tribute before you go!

I Read: LOTR To Get Through

On Wednesday, my grandmother died.

It's strange to think that it was that long ago really. It's strange to think that two whole days went by with me barely noticing. Two days since I sat in the nursing home playing music for the woman who used to be my grandmother but was currently a shell of her formerly grand self (Sinatra was the only thing I could think of that might get through the sickness and old age and dementia). Two days since I came to the horrifying conclusion that she had stopped breathing and slipped away in front of me but sat there for another half hour trying to imagine signs of life before I could bring myself to make sure and then go get the nurse.

This is the third grandparent I've lost in my lifetime, and fourth close death, but it's the first time I've been there when it happened. In the past, I've gotten a phone call, usually from my mom, breaking the news. But this time it was me that was making the call to my dad, telling him his mother died. And this time I went to the funeral home to help make arrangements. Its the most "adult" I've ever felt. Being adult is bullshit.

The past two days have been a blur. I feel sad of course, and also... I don't know. Strange. I don't know what it is. And on top of that, I have a wonderful fiancé who is doing his best to cheer me up and move me along which makes me feel simultaneously better and guilty. I've got that post-death feeling of "wait, life goes on after this?"

One thing that helped, one thing that always helps, was reading. After months of plowing through Lord of the Rings (did I even need to link that??), I spent a lot of yesterday sitting on my porch in the bright sunshine finishing the last 200 pages of The Return of the King, the final book in the series.

I got a gift card to Barnes & Noble for Christmas so at the beginning of the year I thought I'd splurge and get a fancy set of The Hobbit and LOTR because it's something I've always meant to read but never got around to it and what better way to go about it than to get the soft leatherette versions? You can get them here. Not a terrible price for all four books. Plus, they're smaller and soft covered, perfect for carrying around with you but without getting destroyed like what usually happens to my paperbacks.

I don't read a ton of fantasy anymore but as a super shy, self-conscious kid, delving into magical worlds where good triumphs over evil always was instrumental for getting me though so it used to be my go-to (Redwall books anyone...?). When I started reading this months ago (just before the pandemic!), I didn't know how much I would need that again. It doesn't take me that long to read four books normally (series always take me a while for whatever reason), but it just so happens that I got to that grand conclusion now, when I needed an epic happy ending most. 

It's extra strange to be going though a personal tragedy when there's a whole global one going on. Protesting, riots, police brutality, a pandemic and I'm preoccupied with the death of my 94 year old grandmother? I have a right to be of course, but it adds to my weird, unidentifiable feelings of strangeness. 

But reading this and finishing The Return of the King yesterday, finding out everything was ok in the end despite all the death, sorrow, heartache, hard work, and loss... Despite it being "just a book" you can't help but feel a little more hopeful. You can't help but think to yourself "I can win too."

I'll be alright of course, I am alright, just justifiably sad. I'm ridiculously lucky to have a whole host of super supportive friends and family around to get me through and, of course, a lot more books to read.

Sorry this post was super sad but life is like that somethings, not that I need to tell you that (whoever you are), but to end it on a good note, I'll share one of my grandmother's favorite songs (inexplicably) while toasting with a cocktail she would pressure me into getting on our lunch dates called a Toasted Almond (kinda like a White Russian- see this post- but with amaretto instead of vodka).

Cheers Emma.

Vacation, all I ever wanted

I've been on vacation! I went home to North Carolina to visit my brand new baby nephew (and, I guess, the rest of my family ;) ). It was a fantastic time, per usual, but now it's back to the grind.

We got home yesterday,  roughly 6 hours later than originally intended due to some flight delays, so I decided to take today off from work. I'm glad because now, in the cold light of day as I sit on my couch at noon in my pajamas watching baking shows on Netflix, I'm feeling that tidal wave of everyday life racing toward me as a lengthy "to do" list forms in my head.

^This basically sums up my feels right now.

I'll process how awesome my vacation was and how much it made me happy later but now it's hard to do that as I stress about all the things I have to do (or think I have to do). It's not just the simple everyday tasks that I have to get back on track now, but upon reentry into normality I'm reminded of all the grand plan things I've been meaning to do but keep putting off, like job hunting for instance.

Instead of spiraling into an angry unproductive black hole and ending up even more unprepared to go back to work than I was yesterday, I figured I'd share my routine I sometimes use to get back on track post-vacation in the hopes that I actually, you know, do it.

"Sagittarius A* is the black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy." (source) Perhaps this is the black hole where all my energy and productivity goes.

1. GET READY. I'm not one to scoff at a good couch day, but if you're stressing, it's not going to make you feel any better, trust me. Getting up and going really resets your brain into a more productive mode. I personally like to use this time to get ready as if I have a hot date or big event later because lets be honest- you're doing all that extra work to make yourself feel more confident and ready, not just to impress anyone, so it'll make you feel better.  For me, this means:

• Absolutely boiling hot shower. Straight up poach yourself. Especially after a day of airports and planes, just fry those germs off of you.
• Take your time. Shave if that's a thing you do. I recommend a hair mask- they're cheap and do wonders for my dry, fine hair. 
• Post shower body oil! I get dry as hell in the winter and nothing feels more luxurious than putting on body oil. Seriously, you'll feel like a new person. I use Dr. Teal's Relax & Relief body oil- it's pretty cheap, the bottle lasts forever, and it's my favorite smell. I use Trader Joe's Rose Facial Oil for my face because using anything rose scented makes me feel like a Lady.
• While you absorb all your glorious scented oils, do all the little extras you don't always do. For me, this can include finally taking off that super chipped nail polish and sprucing up my cuticles, rogue eyebrow hair plucking, other hair removal we don't talk about, whatever. Put makeup on even if you're not planning on going anywhere.
• Take care in getting dressed. That doesn't have to mean get fancy, but take a minute to choose things that specifically make you happy. Take your time, look through all your things. 

2. MAKE A LIST. Sit down at your desk or a table, get your fancy notebook (everyone has a thousand fancy notebooks, right?) and make a list of all the things you're panicking about doing. Just dump your anxious brain onto the paper. After making this list, most of the time I'm surprised to find that its not so daunting written down, and much easier to face. 

3. DO A THING. Start small. I usually start with a cleaning task because having a clean and organized apartment makes me feel like a Good Adult, thus bolstering me for further tasks.

4. DO NOT DO ALL THE THINGS. You probably won't finish your list. That is ok. Don't forget to prioritize doing something for pure enjoyment's sake- you just got back from vacation but it's not going to make you feel any better to immediately cut all joy out of your life. 

5. REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE JUST AN ANGSTY HOUSE PLANT. Take in nutrients. Drink lots of water. Get some sun if possible. 

6. TAKE A WALK. If weather permits, some movement and fresh air will do wonders for your mental state. Also, if you over indulged like I did on vacation, you will be feelings sluggish and require exercise. Feel free to move this step up a few notches on the list if you need more help getting your brain in gear after getting ready.

7. HAVE A SOUNDTRACK. Do all these things to music that gets you going and makes you happy. I recommend searching for "Star-Lord's Zune" on Spotify which is a pretty epic and lengthy playlist based on the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtracks. 

After all this, hopefully I'll be in a better mindset and then the bigger things I have to tackle won't seem so daunting. Well, time to get on it I guess!

Had to do it because: 

1. Who doesn't think of this song when someone says vacation?!

2. Who doesn't love a good 80's music video?!

You're welcome.

Did Everybody Say What A Good Day That It Was

I had a great day today.

I work in a hospital which of course needs to be staffed 24/7. This means I'm expected to work every other weekend which also means I have the odd day off in the middle of the week to make up for it. Especially as of late, I've had issues filling these midweek days in ways that leave me satisfied when it's all over. I've been getting up later than I intend, not being productive enough, not doing enough things I enjoy, overall just feeling as if I'm wasting my valuable days off.

Despite having a clear idea of my issue (even I'm rolling my eyes at myself for this "issue"), I've had such a hard time fixing it. I've been spending so much of my days beating myself up for not enjoying myself and trying to force myself to do things that I end up, you know, not doing any of that. As they say, worrying about wasted time is more wasted time (my next cross stitch sampler??). It's a strange cycle of self-created problems I've gotten myself into but today... today was perfect. I don't know how I managed it but it was the ideal blend of relaxing, productive, and fun.

Since this blogs original purpose was to remind me of all the good things, I've decided to make a list of a couple of the things that made it so good. Hopefully I can shake off ridiculous this day-off funk I've gotten myself into.

First up is a fine beer, which I'm enjoying as I type. We're super into trying all kinds of good craft beer (heavy dark beers being my favorite) and New England has it's fair share. I stepped a little out of the area for this one (Mast Landing is out of Westbrook Maine) because it's recently turned into one of my go-to favorites. Beer Advocate rates it pretty highly too, if you're into that sort of thing. A good, super-smooth stout with it's own unique (but not overpowering) peanut-y flavor.

Plants! This past year, much to my delight, I realized the apartment I was currently in actually had enough light and room for plants and that I was ready to become a plant mom. My former apartment was a small studio and super dark so I was pretty excited to run out and buy some plants.  I have a Rubber plant named Rubbert Plant that's thriving and a Purple Wandering Jew that I have somehow kept alive (they're kinda tricky) but sadly, I had a Purple Waffle that didn't make it (RIP). Today I decided his pot needed a tenant so I went to a local nursery and for something to replace PW... and of course I couldn't leave with just one plan. On the left is an Oyster plant and on the right is a Rattlesnake plant. They've already been repotted and have settled in their new homes.

I've actually made progress on my embroidery journal! Yes, I'm super behind still but once I get the fabric cut and ready to go, usually it's smooth sailing from there. I like that I can just sit and stitch without much further thought. And, as a bonus, I think I'll actually work down that great big ball of random thread scraps.

source

The Repair Shop is a BBC show which is currently on Netflix. The premise is that people bring in their broken family heirlooms of all types to be restored by master craftsmen. It's pretty much the perfect thing to watch while you have your coffee and bagel in the morning- you get your heartwarming stories but you also get a really interesting look at how things are repaired. I also love the idea that people are working against the idea of this throwaway culture we currently live in. It makes me want to like, I dunno, go out and fix things or something.

source

I'm pretty into watches- I love learning about the different types and movements and history. Recently I've been on a pretty intense eBay hunt for a good vintage one and today, I found an old Waltham that was in decent shape, especially considering the price. I went for it and can't wait to get it in the mail next week! I've been wanting a Waltham- it's a company with a solid history of making good watches... and I happen to live relatively close to Waltham!

***
Other things that made this day great:

-Laundry! Yes I hate changing the sheets but it needed to be done and going to sleep in a bed with fresh sheets is pretty much the best.

-It was an absolutely beautiful day. Clear, bright blue skies, and mild temps (especially for a New England February). I was able to repot my new plants on our screened-in porch without freezing!

-I went for a walk. It was short but it still felt nice to spend more time outside and move a little.

I have a bonus day off this week- hopefully this coming Wednesday is as magical as today was. In the mean time, enjoy a bonus song from which I sniped the blog title! 

Made it: Journal cover

Remember that time I talked about making an embroidery journal for this year? Yeah, I haven't done that yet. Yeah, January definitely already finished. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Progress has been made however, and still while I still maintain the (somewhat blurry) memory of what this past January was like no less. I've been doing a bit of clearing out and I unearthed this blank notebook type thing with 6 thick cardboard pages. I don't know what it's original intended purpose was but it is  now gonna be my embroidery journal. Not satisfied with the plain sad cardboard colored cover, I decided to paint it. It had this nice cut out design, it seemed a shame to leave it a dull brown. Below is photographic evidence of my progress.

I just used some random acrylic paints I happened to have, as shown above.

This is the rest of the blank notebook so you get an idea of the construction. I'm going to do the month embroidery on a piece of aida cloth that'll fit on the page with a little space around the edges, then tape it in with some fancy washi tape. Like I mentioned above, there are 6 pages so I'll do 2 months per page, front and back. Perfect!

A close up. Did I originally intend to have the "2020" in that exact spot or did I accidentally get a smudge of paint there that I needed to hide? We might never know...

I'm really pleased how it came out. Now all I have to do is start on the actual embroidery, preferably before the end of this month. Ahem.

Somewhat random I know, but I'll leave you with the song that I feel like I had stuck in my head for the entire month of January because it's awesome and um. Because I mentioned January? Anyway, enjoy.

Taco Bell Feelings

Well I didn't get the job.

I waited so long to write something about it partially because life just did that thing where all of a sudden the waters turn rough and you feel like you're being carried along through the rapids, and also partially because I didn't want to write a post where I just talk about how bummed I was because who wants to read that and also I knew I'd be fine.

And hey, look. I am. I was right.

I did go through a [surprisingly] brief period where I was gripped with disappointment though. I dwelled on the fact that I was told I was one of the top 2 candidates yet still managed to mess up 50/50 odds. I dwelled on the fact that I wouldn't get out of working Christmas this year. These feelings are all pretty natural I think and to my credit, I did the right thing which is to let the feelings run right through you like Taco Bell. Just what you needed at the time, some discomfort after, but then you leave it all behind and feel much better having survived.

Classic

Anywho, to be honest, I mostly feel relieved now that I've settled down. I have a lot going on this time of year and I like to enjoy it as much as possible. Starting a new job would definitely put quite a bit of stress on me, but now I can relax and fully immerse myself in the Christmas spirit and still have enough energy to be obnoxious about it, which I greatly enjoy doing. Next year I'll start up the job search again but for now, CHRISTMASSSSSS!

Source

Just a quick update for now but I'll be back with some more fun stuff I definitely haven't thought up yet. To sing my exit, here's one of my current favorite Christmas songs.

Get a move on: take a walk, take a walk, take a walk...

It really pisses me off how good exercise is for you. There is no other mental health improvement technique that gets shoved down your throat I like less than exercise but there's few (non-medication related) ones that work better. 

What the hell, man.

I'm mostly talking about conscious, regular exercise here, not the times when you do random fun things that just so happen to require physical activity, like going on a chill hike or bike ride. Nothing makes me more feel more like a petulant teenager than someone telling me exercising would help me tremendously; even though I logically know they are 100% correct, emotionally I want to yell "NO!" and go sulk somewhere, maybe even listen to My Chemical Romance (do the youth still do this? I hope so).

I've been making a concerted effort to move passed that lately because not only would it help with my near constant feelings of tiredness/sluggishness and apathy, but I turned 30 recently and find my body reminding me that it's all downhill from here pretty frequently (I have to wear compression knee braces when I do anything too strenuous for my sad weak old lady knees now for chrissakes). Not only do I NOT want to spend the rest of my life feeling depressed, I don't want to start taking all sorts of high blood pressure and high cholesterol meds either (and that's best-case scenario). 

Of course though, there's the issue of motivation. Funnily enough, having a good quality of life overall isn't enough to get me off my ass so whenever I do, I'm inordinately proud of myself. Yesterday after work, I decided to walk to a nearby coffee shop for, unsurprisingly, some coffee. I had intended to come back afterward making it about a 20 minute walk max, but instead I stayed out for about an hour.

Look at me go! I even provided photographic evidence!

An obligatory shot of me holding my coffee cup in front of a scenic backdrop. 

It's not super unusual for me to take a good long walk once I get started, even if that's not what I specifically set out to do. It's the whole getting started thing that really trips me up. Good coffee (or any coffee, who am I kidding) is a solid motivator to get out the door, but as far as staying out goes, it being fall in New England doesn't hurt...

Picturesque as hell, amiright? We have tons of rail trails around us which, according to Wikipedia, are defined as: the conversion of a disused railway track into a multi-use path, typically for walking, cycling and sometimes horse riding and snowmobiling. The characteristics of abandoned railways—flat, long, frequently running through historical areas—are appealing for various developments. We do a lot of biking on these but it's a good place to put on some music and just lose track of time while you're walking.

Speaking of music, I have a couple songs from my playlist for you so you have something else to look at besides my shitty cell phone pictures. The first one, Achey Bones by The Happy Fits, is a good one for when you're just starting out and you're feeling good about walking but want something to really motivate you and get you going. The urge do dance to this is pretty overwhelming so feel free to be that person when you're out on the trail. I wouldn't judge.

This second one, Call Me (On the Phone) by Dante Elephante, is good for near the end of your walk when you're cooling down a bit but still want something with a good walking beat to get you through to the finish line.



I took so long that I had to hurry home at the end- I didn't want to be stuck on the trail in the dark because that's how you get MURDERED and I watch too much Forensic Files (ps- my dream has come true. It's coming back!) so I definitely got the hell outta there. I tried to keep up a brisk pace throughout anyway, to make it more of a workout. I'm in no kinda shape to run (plus, I had a beverage man!), so that was as good as it was gonna get.

Afterward, my fiancé and I got burgers and beer for dinner to celebrate it being Friday so overall, my body still hates me but I'm feeling pretty good about things in general.
So there's that.


[In case you were curious, my post title comes from the song Take a Walk by Passion Pit]