Make it Snow

Somehow, I let a whole month go by. Aside from that fact that this is just the time of year that goes by at lightning speed, I found myself extremely O V E R W H E L M E D what with starting a new job and all, and some things just naturally fell by the wayside as my panic brain took over and attempted to cope with all the change. Unfortunately blog reading and writing was one of those things. As plant care and house upkeep/random chores also started to slip, I realized I'd crossed over that fine line of "making space to breathe during a stressful time" to "not taking care of business" territory and started the process of dragging myself back to where I function best.

And here I am.

I will fully admit that I'm one to get overwhelmed easily when facing change but as I began my new job, I realized just how... institutionalized I had become at my previous job. We always talked about the kids getting institutionalized, staying too long and getting too comfortable in a rigid yet "safe" environment that the idea of leaving was too terrifying so they'd do all the could to stay, but I never considered that I would be the one unable to cope in the wide open world outside. (reminder: I work at a psychiatric hospital in an inpatient unit for adolescents)

When I began my new job I was given so much leeway to figure out how to go about the tasks at hand- no hour-by-hour schedule, no strict procedures- that I felt lost the whole day and severely questioned my choice to leave my previous job. Here, I need to give a special shout out to M and my friends and family who listened to me complain about it and supported me until I was able to realize that they hired me to be an expert, they hired me because I have a lot of useful experience, and I can do this. There are so many positives to this job and all the negatives were ones that I created for myself. 

I am happy to report that I'm getting to a place where I'm trusting myself and enjoying figuring out how best to do my job MY way, and finding out that it is amazing to be able to do that again finally. I'd been on autopilot for far too long but now my brain is waking up again and it's pretty great. 

So here we are, at the start of the holiday season (my absolute favorite) and I'm feeling better and better about my job as we go- that means I'm finally at a place where I can appreciate all the things that gave me joy during a rough time and what continues to brighten my spirits each day. Lets play a little "what makes me happy lately" catch up!

One of my first pick-me-ups was, surprise surprise, a plant. On a particularly blustery and cold day, I wandered into Lowe's and found this bad boy on the clearance rack for a mere $5. I couldn't say no. When I went to the garden center check out counter, the woman couldn't get it to ring up so she just rang up something else I was buying twice ("it's too cold out here to wait that long for a manager to get here for an overrride"), making this come out to a whopping $3.50. I removed a few brown fronds (they just failed to water it- he was  healthy guy overall!) and now it's classing up my bookshelf area.

I also snuck this little dude into the house- a Pilea Glauca, aka Aquamarine. That's my birthstone, how could I not?? The leaves have a subtle sparkle to them, I love it.

I've been doing a lot of making things too- that's what's taken up the vast majority of my free time lately and is always my mental health pick-me-up go-to. Planting myself on the couch and sewing for hours is pretty therapeutic for me (who knew stabbing something hundreds of times would make you feel so much better!). The vast majority of my projects are gifts though, so I don't want to share them yet. I did break out the Bead Horde recently though and made myself a couple of necklaces. 

Those wooden beads move around on the necklace. I have a hard time with asymmetry but occasionally I like to give it a shot and I'm pretty pleased with how this one turned out. It's like "Asymmetry Lite" so I can deal with it.

I was into the color combo of this in a big way and who doesn't' like a little gradient?

These two projects were fun to make because I went back to some simple stringing. It has similar therapeutic properties as cross stitching I guess- you have a burst of creativity in figuring out the design but the actual execution of it is just repetitively putting beads on a wire. Very calming.

I also engaged in a little retail therapy in the form of these incredibly amazing Dr. Martens X The Who collection 1461s. 

Fun fact: Pete Townshend, guitarist and singer for The Who windmilled Docs from work shoes to rock shoes as he rose to fame wearing a beat up pair of 1461s on stage.

I have a solid collection of Dr. Marten boots (5 so far!) but have been wanting a pair of the 1461 style shoes for a long time. I just so happen to stumble across these on the Dr. Marten website for $75, in my size, originally priced at $125. Merry early Christmas to me! I particularly love the contrast arrow on the top and the red and blue aglets. These'll be some amazing concert shoes if that ever happens again...

Mental health walks (not yet in those shoes though- we have some breaking in to do), have been pretty vital and I've been trying to take quick 30 minute post work de-stress walks every day, weather permitting. It's extra nice when you see things like this on the side of the trail...

They aren't the only ones to put up a Christmas tree though. I've loaded my apartment with as much Christmas decorations as I could find! Including a 7 ft tall slender tree:

I've been trying to collect more weird ornaments to put on it. Prior to getting this one, M and I only had small 4 ft trees (they're up in different parts of the apartment) so we didn't have a ton of our own ornaments yet. My mom gave me a bunch from when I was a kid (she only puts up her super fancy blown glass ones now anyway) and the past few years I've been picking up a few more to add to the collection here and there. I recently went to a craft store for more gift making supplies and happily picked up my newest additions (50% off too!):

Dinosaurs, robots, and TARDIS! So festive!

Our subtly Christmas-inappropriate tree topper... any Doctor Who fans out there?? I'm thinking about touching this up with some shiny silver paint. I like the topper but it's so dark atop a bright and shiny tree... maybe I'll replace it someday if I stumble across a suitable alternative.

It looks extra nice and glowy at night, doesn't it? I like the red velvet ribbon garland- it fills a lot of space if you don't have a ton of ornaments- but I might replace that at some point too. I like a nice beaded garland, or maybe I'll find a silly one to go with all my weird and random ornaments. I also need to upgrade my tree skirt too, which is just a green/red/white plaid round table cloth, artfully arranged and held together at the back with a binder clip. It's ok though. I see Christmas decorations as things you just slowly amass over your lifetime and I haven't been out on my own for that long, in the grand scheme of things. No rush.

One of my favorite ornaments gifted to me by a friend of mine last year, purchased on Etsy I believe (shop unknown). Make it snow!

Speaking of snow- yesterday, Saturday, it was a gloomy snowy day, the first "real" snow of the season (it wasn't a lot but as you can see, it actually stuck around this time). It was perfect for staying home, being cozy, and doing a little sewing- a wonderful day off. This weekend I've felt more Zen than I have in a long time.

Now all that's left is for me to catch up on all the reading I've missed out on (and, now that I think of it, I should probably clear off my car so I don't have to do it before work tomorrow...). I hope everyone is getting into a festive mood this year despite what a dumpster fire it's been. 2021 can only be better! ,,,right?

If you need a little boost, allow me to drop a holiday classic to get you going. Enjoy!