Sort of Snow Day

 Any sort of struggles with my new job aside, can I just say, I am EXCITED to finally have a snow day?!?!

When I worked at the hospital, snow days just filled me with dread as I would have to make it to work somehow regardless of conditions. I absolutely hate driving in the snow and I've always lived just far enough away that it was an extremely long and nerve wracking drive. 

I'm still an adult though and after the plow guy comes, I'll be shoveling out that walkway so M can come in safely (poor guy is at work- no snow day for him! New Englanders take a perverse pride in going to work in shitty weather which I find outrageous as a former long time resident of NC). Also, from 8:30 to 12:30 I had to chill on a 4th grade class's Zoom to "provide support" if needed.

...I was not really needed. But I sat there, listening to them learn how to code (which made me feel ancient somehow), watching them forget they were on camera and pick their nose (which made me feel nauseous) while sewing just under the screen (note the elevated laptop for ease of craft hiding). And hey, I still got to sleep in, drink outrageous amounts of coffee, and lounge around in my comfy pants, all snow day staples.

So far, we've got about 9 inches and it still coming down pretty steadily. 12-16 inches is our projected accumulation and we have a quite brisk high of 21 degrees (F) to look forward to on top of that. When M opened the door to try and make it to his car, we were greeted by this lovely sight. 

When you start your shoveling from inside, you know it's bad out there. Look how thrilled M looks! At least our large supply of various face masks are really coming in handy.

My original plan for today after class was over was to do all my wrapping but last night I decided to wrap M's gifts before he got home (I wasn't sure if he was going into work today or not), got carried away and ended up wrapping all of them- even M's gifts to other people! Man, that guy is lucky. The wrapped presents under the tree really ups the Christmas atmosphere though so I'm glad I did it.

Aside from getting my keyboard covered in Jelly Baby dust while typing this, my new plan is to do whatever I want. Perfect, right? I thought so. Usually I think of all these big, grand plans that I don't end up accomplishing which makes me grumpy so I think I'm going to aim for lowkey and anything above that is gravy. Work smarter, not harder, amiright?

If you were wondering what exactly "do whatever I want" will proabably look for me over the next few hours before I face the music and finally go out to shovel, I've graciously included the following list of Ashley's Snow Day Essentials for you.

~Tea. If you know me at all you might have expected that first word to be coffee. There comes a point in a snow day however, when you realize if you have another cup of coffee you'll start to vibrate (and not in a good way...) but since it's cold, you need to ingest warm things. That and it's a time of day when you think twice about that bourbon and apple cider or eggnog and amaretto (pin that for later though we're just pacing ourselves here). This is where tea comes in. I like tea but it is definitely something I drink when I want coffee but know better. Yogi brand tea is usually a good option and this particular variety is extra good. Spicy, just a little sweet, and good with a splash of almond milk. Bonus points for large novelty mug.

~Sweatpants. Obviously. I'm not going to subject you to a picture of my sweatpants but I prefer a thick French terry, 100% cotton. Pretty warm, still breathable, minimal static. If you like sweaty crevasses feel free to wear some fleece though, it is your warmest option, I'll give you that.

~Books. I got into a reading slump and the very best way to get out of that is to read something from someone like Terry Pratchett. Hilarious, well written, light but smart. I just created a wizard character on Diablo III and named her after the character in this book so this is the one I decided to jump into. Soooo good, you can absolutely not go wrong with Discworld.

~Crafts. The possibilities are endless of course but preferably something you can do from the couch (save your mural painting/demon summoning/canoe building/whatever for another day).

~Sweet jams, preferably Christmas. Because the tree is up and it's snowing out, I mean c'mon. Don't worry, you can still get pretty weird with it. I mean...

(I really encourage you to listen to that but I will warn you that I want you to listen not because it's good but because it's hilarious and shouldn't exist and is exactly as terribly as you'd think it would be)

~TV. Now's a good time to watch a movie. Nothing to exhilarating, maybe a Christmas movie? Also acceptable are mysteries from the 70s because I'm kind of thinking about watching Columbo.

That about sums it up. Guess I better get to it!

Make it Snow

Somehow, I let a whole month go by. Aside from that fact that this is just the time of year that goes by at lightning speed, I found myself extremely O V E R W H E L M E D what with starting a new job and all, and some things just naturally fell by the wayside as my panic brain took over and attempted to cope with all the change. Unfortunately blog reading and writing was one of those things. As plant care and house upkeep/random chores also started to slip, I realized I'd crossed over that fine line of "making space to breathe during a stressful time" to "not taking care of business" territory and started the process of dragging myself back to where I function best.

And here I am.

I will fully admit that I'm one to get overwhelmed easily when facing change but as I began my new job, I realized just how... institutionalized I had become at my previous job. We always talked about the kids getting institutionalized, staying too long and getting too comfortable in a rigid yet "safe" environment that the idea of leaving was too terrifying so they'd do all the could to stay, but I never considered that I would be the one unable to cope in the wide open world outside. (reminder: I work at a psychiatric hospital in an inpatient unit for adolescents)

When I began my new job I was given so much leeway to figure out how to go about the tasks at hand- no hour-by-hour schedule, no strict procedures- that I felt lost the whole day and severely questioned my choice to leave my previous job. Here, I need to give a special shout out to M and my friends and family who listened to me complain about it and supported me until I was able to realize that they hired me to be an expert, they hired me because I have a lot of useful experience, and I can do this. There are so many positives to this job and all the negatives were ones that I created for myself. 

I am happy to report that I'm getting to a place where I'm trusting myself and enjoying figuring out how best to do my job MY way, and finding out that it is amazing to be able to do that again finally. I'd been on autopilot for far too long but now my brain is waking up again and it's pretty great. 

So here we are, at the start of the holiday season (my absolute favorite) and I'm feeling better and better about my job as we go- that means I'm finally at a place where I can appreciate all the things that gave me joy during a rough time and what continues to brighten my spirits each day. Lets play a little "what makes me happy lately" catch up!

One of my first pick-me-ups was, surprise surprise, a plant. On a particularly blustery and cold day, I wandered into Lowe's and found this bad boy on the clearance rack for a mere $5. I couldn't say no. When I went to the garden center check out counter, the woman couldn't get it to ring up so she just rang up something else I was buying twice ("it's too cold out here to wait that long for a manager to get here for an overrride"), making this come out to a whopping $3.50. I removed a few brown fronds (they just failed to water it- he was  healthy guy overall!) and now it's classing up my bookshelf area.

I also snuck this little dude into the house- a Pilea Glauca, aka Aquamarine. That's my birthstone, how could I not?? The leaves have a subtle sparkle to them, I love it.

I've been doing a lot of making things too- that's what's taken up the vast majority of my free time lately and is always my mental health pick-me-up go-to. Planting myself on the couch and sewing for hours is pretty therapeutic for me (who knew stabbing something hundreds of times would make you feel so much better!). The vast majority of my projects are gifts though, so I don't want to share them yet. I did break out the Bead Horde recently though and made myself a couple of necklaces. 

Those wooden beads move around on the necklace. I have a hard time with asymmetry but occasionally I like to give it a shot and I'm pretty pleased with how this one turned out. It's like "Asymmetry Lite" so I can deal with it.

I was into the color combo of this in a big way and who doesn't' like a little gradient?

These two projects were fun to make because I went back to some simple stringing. It has similar therapeutic properties as cross stitching I guess- you have a burst of creativity in figuring out the design but the actual execution of it is just repetitively putting beads on a wire. Very calming.

I also engaged in a little retail therapy in the form of these incredibly amazing Dr. Martens X The Who collection 1461s. 

Fun fact: Pete Townshend, guitarist and singer for The Who windmilled Docs from work shoes to rock shoes as he rose to fame wearing a beat up pair of 1461s on stage.

I have a solid collection of Dr. Marten boots (5 so far!) but have been wanting a pair of the 1461 style shoes for a long time. I just so happen to stumble across these on the Dr. Marten website for $75, in my size, originally priced at $125. Merry early Christmas to me! I particularly love the contrast arrow on the top and the red and blue aglets. These'll be some amazing concert shoes if that ever happens again...

Mental health walks (not yet in those shoes though- we have some breaking in to do), have been pretty vital and I've been trying to take quick 30 minute post work de-stress walks every day, weather permitting. It's extra nice when you see things like this on the side of the trail...

They aren't the only ones to put up a Christmas tree though. I've loaded my apartment with as much Christmas decorations as I could find! Including a 7 ft tall slender tree:

I've been trying to collect more weird ornaments to put on it. Prior to getting this one, M and I only had small 4 ft trees (they're up in different parts of the apartment) so we didn't have a ton of our own ornaments yet. My mom gave me a bunch from when I was a kid (she only puts up her super fancy blown glass ones now anyway) and the past few years I've been picking up a few more to add to the collection here and there. I recently went to a craft store for more gift making supplies and happily picked up my newest additions (50% off too!):

Dinosaurs, robots, and TARDIS! So festive!

Our subtly Christmas-inappropriate tree topper... any Doctor Who fans out there?? I'm thinking about touching this up with some shiny silver paint. I like the topper but it's so dark atop a bright and shiny tree... maybe I'll replace it someday if I stumble across a suitable alternative.

It looks extra nice and glowy at night, doesn't it? I like the red velvet ribbon garland- it fills a lot of space if you don't have a ton of ornaments- but I might replace that at some point too. I like a nice beaded garland, or maybe I'll find a silly one to go with all my weird and random ornaments. I also need to upgrade my tree skirt too, which is just a green/red/white plaid round table cloth, artfully arranged and held together at the back with a binder clip. It's ok though. I see Christmas decorations as things you just slowly amass over your lifetime and I haven't been out on my own for that long, in the grand scheme of things. No rush.

One of my favorite ornaments gifted to me by a friend of mine last year, purchased on Etsy I believe (shop unknown). Make it snow!

Speaking of snow- yesterday, Saturday, it was a gloomy snowy day, the first "real" snow of the season (it wasn't a lot but as you can see, it actually stuck around this time). It was perfect for staying home, being cozy, and doing a little sewing- a wonderful day off. This weekend I've felt more Zen than I have in a long time.

Now all that's left is for me to catch up on all the reading I've missed out on (and, now that I think of it, I should probably clear off my car so I don't have to do it before work tomorrow...). I hope everyone is getting into a festive mood this year despite what a dumpster fire it's been. 2021 can only be better! ,,,right?

If you need a little boost, allow me to drop a holiday classic to get you going. Enjoy!