Sort of Snow Day

 Any sort of struggles with my new job aside, can I just say, I am EXCITED to finally have a snow day?!?!

When I worked at the hospital, snow days just filled me with dread as I would have to make it to work somehow regardless of conditions. I absolutely hate driving in the snow and I've always lived just far enough away that it was an extremely long and nerve wracking drive. 

I'm still an adult though and after the plow guy comes, I'll be shoveling out that walkway so M can come in safely (poor guy is at work- no snow day for him! New Englanders take a perverse pride in going to work in shitty weather which I find outrageous as a former long time resident of NC). Also, from 8:30 to 12:30 I had to chill on a 4th grade class's Zoom to "provide support" if needed.

...I was not really needed. But I sat there, listening to them learn how to code (which made me feel ancient somehow), watching them forget they were on camera and pick their nose (which made me feel nauseous) while sewing just under the screen (note the elevated laptop for ease of craft hiding). And hey, I still got to sleep in, drink outrageous amounts of coffee, and lounge around in my comfy pants, all snow day staples.

So far, we've got about 9 inches and it still coming down pretty steadily. 12-16 inches is our projected accumulation and we have a quite brisk high of 21 degrees (F) to look forward to on top of that. When M opened the door to try and make it to his car, we were greeted by this lovely sight. 

When you start your shoveling from inside, you know it's bad out there. Look how thrilled M looks! At least our large supply of various face masks are really coming in handy.

My original plan for today after class was over was to do all my wrapping but last night I decided to wrap M's gifts before he got home (I wasn't sure if he was going into work today or not), got carried away and ended up wrapping all of them- even M's gifts to other people! Man, that guy is lucky. The wrapped presents under the tree really ups the Christmas atmosphere though so I'm glad I did it.

Aside from getting my keyboard covered in Jelly Baby dust while typing this, my new plan is to do whatever I want. Perfect, right? I thought so. Usually I think of all these big, grand plans that I don't end up accomplishing which makes me grumpy so I think I'm going to aim for lowkey and anything above that is gravy. Work smarter, not harder, amiright?

If you were wondering what exactly "do whatever I want" will proabably look for me over the next few hours before I face the music and finally go out to shovel, I've graciously included the following list of Ashley's Snow Day Essentials for you.

~Tea. If you know me at all you might have expected that first word to be coffee. There comes a point in a snow day however, when you realize if you have another cup of coffee you'll start to vibrate (and not in a good way...) but since it's cold, you need to ingest warm things. That and it's a time of day when you think twice about that bourbon and apple cider or eggnog and amaretto (pin that for later though we're just pacing ourselves here). This is where tea comes in. I like tea but it is definitely something I drink when I want coffee but know better. Yogi brand tea is usually a good option and this particular variety is extra good. Spicy, just a little sweet, and good with a splash of almond milk. Bonus points for large novelty mug.

~Sweatpants. Obviously. I'm not going to subject you to a picture of my sweatpants but I prefer a thick French terry, 100% cotton. Pretty warm, still breathable, minimal static. If you like sweaty crevasses feel free to wear some fleece though, it is your warmest option, I'll give you that.

~Books. I got into a reading slump and the very best way to get out of that is to read something from someone like Terry Pratchett. Hilarious, well written, light but smart. I just created a wizard character on Diablo III and named her after the character in this book so this is the one I decided to jump into. Soooo good, you can absolutely not go wrong with Discworld.

~Crafts. The possibilities are endless of course but preferably something you can do from the couch (save your mural painting/demon summoning/canoe building/whatever for another day).

~Sweet jams, preferably Christmas. Because the tree is up and it's snowing out, I mean c'mon. Don't worry, you can still get pretty weird with it. I mean...

(I really encourage you to listen to that but I will warn you that I want you to listen not because it's good but because it's hilarious and shouldn't exist and is exactly as terribly as you'd think it would be)

~TV. Now's a good time to watch a movie. Nothing to exhilarating, maybe a Christmas movie? Also acceptable are mysteries from the 70s because I'm kind of thinking about watching Columbo.

That about sums it up. Guess I better get to it!

Make it Snow

Somehow, I let a whole month go by. Aside from that fact that this is just the time of year that goes by at lightning speed, I found myself extremely O V E R W H E L M E D what with starting a new job and all, and some things just naturally fell by the wayside as my panic brain took over and attempted to cope with all the change. Unfortunately blog reading and writing was one of those things. As plant care and house upkeep/random chores also started to slip, I realized I'd crossed over that fine line of "making space to breathe during a stressful time" to "not taking care of business" territory and started the process of dragging myself back to where I function best.

And here I am.

I will fully admit that I'm one to get overwhelmed easily when facing change but as I began my new job, I realized just how... institutionalized I had become at my previous job. We always talked about the kids getting institutionalized, staying too long and getting too comfortable in a rigid yet "safe" environment that the idea of leaving was too terrifying so they'd do all the could to stay, but I never considered that I would be the one unable to cope in the wide open world outside. (reminder: I work at a psychiatric hospital in an inpatient unit for adolescents)

When I began my new job I was given so much leeway to figure out how to go about the tasks at hand- no hour-by-hour schedule, no strict procedures- that I felt lost the whole day and severely questioned my choice to leave my previous job. Here, I need to give a special shout out to M and my friends and family who listened to me complain about it and supported me until I was able to realize that they hired me to be an expert, they hired me because I have a lot of useful experience, and I can do this. There are so many positives to this job and all the negatives were ones that I created for myself. 

I am happy to report that I'm getting to a place where I'm trusting myself and enjoying figuring out how best to do my job MY way, and finding out that it is amazing to be able to do that again finally. I'd been on autopilot for far too long but now my brain is waking up again and it's pretty great. 

So here we are, at the start of the holiday season (my absolute favorite) and I'm feeling better and better about my job as we go- that means I'm finally at a place where I can appreciate all the things that gave me joy during a rough time and what continues to brighten my spirits each day. Lets play a little "what makes me happy lately" catch up!

One of my first pick-me-ups was, surprise surprise, a plant. On a particularly blustery and cold day, I wandered into Lowe's and found this bad boy on the clearance rack for a mere $5. I couldn't say no. When I went to the garden center check out counter, the woman couldn't get it to ring up so she just rang up something else I was buying twice ("it's too cold out here to wait that long for a manager to get here for an overrride"), making this come out to a whopping $3.50. I removed a few brown fronds (they just failed to water it- he was  healthy guy overall!) and now it's classing up my bookshelf area.

I also snuck this little dude into the house- a Pilea Glauca, aka Aquamarine. That's my birthstone, how could I not?? The leaves have a subtle sparkle to them, I love it.

I've been doing a lot of making things too- that's what's taken up the vast majority of my free time lately and is always my mental health pick-me-up go-to. Planting myself on the couch and sewing for hours is pretty therapeutic for me (who knew stabbing something hundreds of times would make you feel so much better!). The vast majority of my projects are gifts though, so I don't want to share them yet. I did break out the Bead Horde recently though and made myself a couple of necklaces. 

Those wooden beads move around on the necklace. I have a hard time with asymmetry but occasionally I like to give it a shot and I'm pretty pleased with how this one turned out. It's like "Asymmetry Lite" so I can deal with it.

I was into the color combo of this in a big way and who doesn't' like a little gradient?

These two projects were fun to make because I went back to some simple stringing. It has similar therapeutic properties as cross stitching I guess- you have a burst of creativity in figuring out the design but the actual execution of it is just repetitively putting beads on a wire. Very calming.

I also engaged in a little retail therapy in the form of these incredibly amazing Dr. Martens X The Who collection 1461s. 

Fun fact: Pete Townshend, guitarist and singer for The Who windmilled Docs from work shoes to rock shoes as he rose to fame wearing a beat up pair of 1461s on stage.

I have a solid collection of Dr. Marten boots (5 so far!) but have been wanting a pair of the 1461 style shoes for a long time. I just so happen to stumble across these on the Dr. Marten website for $75, in my size, originally priced at $125. Merry early Christmas to me! I particularly love the contrast arrow on the top and the red and blue aglets. These'll be some amazing concert shoes if that ever happens again...

Mental health walks (not yet in those shoes though- we have some breaking in to do), have been pretty vital and I've been trying to take quick 30 minute post work de-stress walks every day, weather permitting. It's extra nice when you see things like this on the side of the trail...

They aren't the only ones to put up a Christmas tree though. I've loaded my apartment with as much Christmas decorations as I could find! Including a 7 ft tall slender tree:

I've been trying to collect more weird ornaments to put on it. Prior to getting this one, M and I only had small 4 ft trees (they're up in different parts of the apartment) so we didn't have a ton of our own ornaments yet. My mom gave me a bunch from when I was a kid (she only puts up her super fancy blown glass ones now anyway) and the past few years I've been picking up a few more to add to the collection here and there. I recently went to a craft store for more gift making supplies and happily picked up my newest additions (50% off too!):

Dinosaurs, robots, and TARDIS! So festive!

Our subtly Christmas-inappropriate tree topper... any Doctor Who fans out there?? I'm thinking about touching this up with some shiny silver paint. I like the topper but it's so dark atop a bright and shiny tree... maybe I'll replace it someday if I stumble across a suitable alternative.

It looks extra nice and glowy at night, doesn't it? I like the red velvet ribbon garland- it fills a lot of space if you don't have a ton of ornaments- but I might replace that at some point too. I like a nice beaded garland, or maybe I'll find a silly one to go with all my weird and random ornaments. I also need to upgrade my tree skirt too, which is just a green/red/white plaid round table cloth, artfully arranged and held together at the back with a binder clip. It's ok though. I see Christmas decorations as things you just slowly amass over your lifetime and I haven't been out on my own for that long, in the grand scheme of things. No rush.

One of my favorite ornaments gifted to me by a friend of mine last year, purchased on Etsy I believe (shop unknown). Make it snow!

Speaking of snow- yesterday, Saturday, it was a gloomy snowy day, the first "real" snow of the season (it wasn't a lot but as you can see, it actually stuck around this time). It was perfect for staying home, being cozy, and doing a little sewing- a wonderful day off. This weekend I've felt more Zen than I have in a long time.

Now all that's left is for me to catch up on all the reading I've missed out on (and, now that I think of it, I should probably clear off my car so I don't have to do it before work tomorrow...). I hope everyone is getting into a festive mood this year despite what a dumpster fire it's been. 2021 can only be better! ,,,right?

If you need a little boost, allow me to drop a holiday classic to get you going. Enjoy!

It comes in pints?!

Well, I'm still alive. 

My last post saw me at my grimmest about my current situation (clearly) but I'm happy to report that, not only am I not displaying any physical signs of covid-19 (I've been taking my temperature daily as an additional precaution!), but I've been managing my mental health surprisingly well. I'll attribute it partially to M, my quarantine/life partner, and the fact that I've thrown myself into a project... more on that in a minute.

But first... P E T S!

...that aren't mine. I've had a love-hate relationship with the upstairs neighbors pug. He hilariously looks like this: 

I've entitled this piece: "The Loneliest Pug in the World"

But also, he apparently has a lot to say, considering the amount of time I am forced to listen to him bark. I tried to bond with him yesterday but he was mostly interested in trying to come into my apartment, probably, from the size of him, to scout for snacks.

I had slightly better luck with the cat, and by slightly better luck I mean it got within a whole one foot of me, but still refused to let me pet it or move.

Progress.

I'm sure a big part of my positive mental attitude is also due in part to the strangely glorious weather we've been having. Sunny and in the 70's in November?! Probably a sign that our planet is going to like, descend into a second ice age sooner rather than later but I'll take it!

M and I went for a walk, basically the only thing we can do that's not in our house during our quarantine, and I spent the better part of the late afternoon/evening on the porch working on my aforementioned project. 

This year, I'm making Christmas stockings for my brand new nephew and M who inexplicably doesn't have one of his own. I've blurred the one I'm working on above because it's a surprise for both of them! I'll be cross stitching the cuff portion of the stocking and my mom is making the stocking itself. I designed and created the pattern myself on my pattern making software which I'm super  proud of but I also did not measure correctly forcing me to make all sorts of frantic adjustments AFTER I had already put quite a bit of work into it which I am NOT super proud of.

All I have to say is, these guys better cherish the shit out of these things.

Because I'm in quarantine and can't go anywhere and I'm an adult so I can do whatever I damn well please I enjoyed an afternoon beer. I'm finishing the last of my fall seasonal stash (in very late-spring weather funnily enough) before moving on to the winter stuff, and this Festbeir called Inexplicably Used Umlaut from Singlecut is a pretty decent send off. It was my first foray into Singlecut, a brewery out of New York, but M is a huge fan of their 18-Watt so I thought I'd give it a try. I was not disappointed.

 When I'm not stitching outside, I find myself... stitching inside. Really making waves here with all my free time. I've embraced my inner grandma and started re-watching (yes, I've watched them all already) Columbo, one of my all-time favorite detective shows. Peter Falk is great as the bumbling but secretly super savvy detective and the 70s fashion in these are a m a z i n g. They're also long which I like, when I know I want to spend a lot of time on a project. 

I've gone full couch potato I guess because we've also started watching the Lord of the Rings movies. I hadn't watched them until now because I've always insisted on reading the books first which I somehow only did semi-recently.

We watched The Hobbit trilogy a while ago but we finally watched The Fellowship of the Ring last night. It's nice to be in that universe again, especially now. It's so comforting to me, aside from just being a good movie. We'll definitely finish the other two movies by the time I get to finally start work (the 20th). 

Our big plans for this evening include ordering out for some zero-contact takeout, specific kind TBD. Maybe a movie, maybe more stitching... who knows. All I know is, I'm going to enjoy the chilling as much as I possibly can before I inevitably lose my mind.

Source

Cheers! 

This is Fine

On Thursday, I completed my last day of work at the psych hospital. It was bittersweet; I'd fought so hard to shake off my complacency and finally leave, went though so many interviews and close-calls to finally get a new job and better (or at least different) opportunity, that it was strange to finally be there. Saying goodbye to the kids was harder than I thought. Sometimes you forget, as you slog through the everyday tasks and issues with the kids, that they might actually appreciate your efforts. I received a few super nice letters which I added to my 8 year collection before stowing it away for good. 

My coworkers were nice enough to bring in a cake (my ultimate weakness, though to be honest I have many) and as we all stood around eating it, I finally felt like it was the end. I left in high spirits, met friends for celebratory drinks, then headed home for a game-filled night with M. 

Little did I know, the next morning I'd be woken up to a phone call telling me that one of the coworkers I shared cake with, eating it with, of course, our masks off, tested positive for Covid-19.

source

I'd thought of spending my day treating myself to a super long peruse at my favorite garden center to pick out a celebratory plant but all that came to a screeching halt and instead, I frantically texted M who was at work, emailed the new job (the one I was supposed to start on Monday), and made an appointment for a Covid test of my own. 

Luckily, M didn't really have contact with anyone at work and is able to work from home for the most part- or until I get my test results anyway. And also luckily- VERY luckily- my new boss and everyone at my new job was super supportive and understanding and nice and quick to help me figure out what my next steps should be. Regardless of the test results, I'm going to quarantine for 2 weeks before I start my new job.

It's all a bit weird to be honest. After a while, it's easy to get that "it couldn't happen to me" attitude, even though we've always been sure to take the necessary precautions. And then I let it slip a little bit to eat my fucking goodbye cake for crying out loud, and here we are. 

I've calmed down a lot since yesterday though. I have a feeling I'll be fine. Currently, I feel in good health (though I will closely monitor myself and take my temperature daily) as does the individual who tested positive. All I can do now is wait anyway.

More waiting. It feels like I've been waiting for my life to change a bit for ages and just when I thought I had it, I'm met with multiple hang-ups. My natural inclination is to get overwhelmed by all this but assuming I do not have covid-19 of course, things are still progressing, I'm still doing alright. I have to keep telling myself that. No getting overdramatic Ashley!

I started this blog to remind myself that I have plenty of things to keep me happy and engaged with life because sometimes I forget that and allow myself to sink down into a puddle of blah. Especially in times like these, where a lot of things beyond my control come at me all at once. It's important (if a little cliché) to look on the bright side and I want to focus on using this blog as it was intended, to document all the amazing (maybe...??) ways I utilize my 2 weeks of quarantine, that keep me afloat, mentally. 

I will be fine. Everything is fine.

And hey, at least Trump lost right?

Halloween for Hermits

Happy Halloween! Well, happy day after Halloween anyway. 

Halloween isn't something I usually go out of my way to make a big fuss about to be honest but this year, it was on a Saturday AND there's a whole pandemic stopping people from getting together to do fun things so naturally I wanted to do something fun that involved leaving the house because, of course, as soon as you tell me I can't do something, I immediately become consumed with the desire to do it (what can I say, wanting to do the opposite of what is wise is apparently a popular American trait).

Anyhoo, of course we stayed in because we're Responsible Adults, though we probably would have regardless because we're also Hermit Wannabes. We'd been watching scary-ish movies leading up to the big day but last night we decided to mix it up and play a s p o o k y game instead.

First though, here's my beverage of the night, Rouge's Dead Guy Ale out of Oregon. I thought it would be appropriate for the day given the name but it's been one of my go-to's for ages. I like to stay local usual (New England has me spoiled for choice, its not hard) but Dead Guy ale is such a good, solid option that I can't help put pick up a six pack every once in a while. There are plenty of beers I love but have to be in the mood for given their unique flavors and styles, but there is never a time when I wouldn't enjoy a Dead Guy Ale. Also, I'm super partial to brown ales and their Hazelnut Brown Nectar is an excellent example and one of my all time favorites. 

On to g a m e s! Last night we played Mansions of Madness, yet another of Fantasy Flight's Arkham Horror games, like the one I posted about a while ago called Eldritch Horror. Same art style, characters, monsters, etc, but Mansions is app driven, meaning game play is moved along by an app so we have to have a laptop set up to play. This element eliminates the need for some of the million tiny decks of cards and a few of the tokens of Eldritch Horror, making it a little quicker to play (depending on the scenario anyway) and better if you're low on space (or don't feel like taking all your plants off the table). 

Speaking of scenarios, here are M and I choosing which one to play. They vary in difficultly and length of play, information that's included in the description. The big draw of Mansions versus Eldritch for me are these different scenarios- most of them involve an investigation of some sort as opposed to just fighting monsters and I do love a good creepy mystery. Also, it includes more puzzles which I love. They're usually used to open safes and locked drawers/chests and are often logic puzzles (for M) or those sliding block puzzles (for me). 

Another cool thing about Mansions is the modular game board. You have a ton of different "room" tiles that gradually come out as you "explore" whichever area you're in- the app will tell you which ones to take out. If you look closely, the red tokens indicate a room to be explored and is mirrored on the computer screen.

A little closer view of the board. Like I've mentioned before, I love the art. Like Eldritch, you get various tool/items to help you out along the way. That shotgun on the far right of the line of cards really came in handy for me for instance.

Aaaand here is the board once we finished and won! ...sort of. We got the ending that wasn't ideal but the bad guy didn't win and we didn't die. M was stuck in the future though.

I very much enjoyed the game and it was a good Halloween activity but I still like Eldritch Horror better, millions of tiny cards and all. I feel like in Eldritch you have more control over your own destiny. In Mansions, you can't take an action to heal yourself unless you have an item or person specific action that will let you (so once you start losing health/sanity, you're usually screwed), and improving/gaining skills, tools, items, and spells are done at the whim of the game and not something you can set out to gain yourself. Also, we feel like sometimes our loss was inevitable given the time constraints and vast amounts of items and rooms to search. Eldritch can also be frustrating, yes, but in a less... frustrating way. 

That totally made sense, sure.

Finally, Halloween wouldn't be compete with out a treat, right? I didn't feel like putting a lot of effort into it though so I just whipped up some chocolate coconut haystacks. Very easy, just pour melted chocolate over crunchy chow mein noodles and toasted coconut, mix, drop in blobs on a cookie sheet, and put in the fridge until hardened and voila! A super easy (yet ridiculously messy to eat) treat with maximum chocolate and minimal effort. 

I hope everyone had a great Halloween! Enjoy a little last minute spookiness with Screamin' Jay Hawkins before you go...

Embracing Change

I am back, and with news... but this time, it's actually good news.

Also, my hair is blue! Sort of anyway.

I'll make you wait for the good news but first, a look at my journey to sort-of-blueness. 

I've always liked the idea of having "fun" hair- if you're going through the trouble to dye it, why settle on a normal hair color?? I've been terrified to take the plunge though because my hair is very fine and if genetics has anything to say about it (and of course, it usually does), it'll start to get dangerously thin soon enough. I have this (admittedly misguided) notion that if I'm nice to my hair, it won't abandon me and that coupled with the fact that I don't want to do anything that might ruin it- I need to be able to enjoy it while I have it!- has led me to have "virgin hair" for the first 31.5 years of my life. 

Recently though, I stumbled across a product called Overtone. They make hair dye that is essentially a tinted deep conditioner and there's a line specially formulated for people with dark hair that requires no lightening/bleaching. Of course, this means your hair isn't going to be a vibrant color but I mean, a dye that's actually good for my hair?? It's exactly what I've been looking for so I had to try it.

 

This is the one I got. I kinda wanted to do green (my favorite color!) but it was sold out. I love blue too though so that's the one I chose out of the 7 possible options. This is clearly a picture of the tub AFTER I used it, as evidenced by the blue smudges. I wish that was the only place I found blue smudges after my ordeal...

I have to admit, my nerve started to waver at this point. I mean, that's really freaking blue. On the plus side, it also smelled delightfully of herbs and made my hair smell nice for days afterward.

This is the before shot, not the best I'll admit. M assisted me with the photography and he was too busy laughing at me most of the time to get an especially good shots, for reasons you will see below. It's also freshly fully blow-dried with no products in it, hence the visible sad dryness. 

Here I am waiting for the color to process (about 15 minutes) after I globbed on about 3/4 of the tub, covered in blue, and rethinking all of my like choices while M cackled at my predicament in the background. My sister bought the orange dye and reported to me that it wasn't too messy and didn't stain so I wasn't as careful as I probably should've been because that blue all over my neck, back, and shoulders DID NOT IMMEDIATELY WIPE OFF. I thought I was a Smurf for life. I also dropped some dye on my sink and in my shower which required bleach to remove. Next time I do this, I'm forcing M to stand by with wet wipes to wipe it off my skin immediately. I'm sure he'll totally agree to that.

I was very careful to wear gloves when I put the dye on of course but didn't think anything of it when I rinsed it off in the shower... and of course dyed my hands blue. Here they are after I attempted to scrub it off.

This is a terrible picture of what it looked like afterward- I discovered that the blueness is super hard to capture in pictures. It's there though, I promise! Also, I was too impatient to see what it really looked like to do my normal air dry so I blow-dried it yet again. My poor curls. 
 

This picture from the Overtone website is a much better representation of what my hair looked like before and looks like now. It's much darker with a bluish tinge to it, especially visible in the sunlight. I absolutely love it! And I went dark just in time for spooky season.

I would most definitely do this again, despite the mess (which was mostly due to me being somewhat unprepared). I also got the daily conditioner which deposits blue in your hair so it should last a while, even though it wasn't cheap. It did make my hair soft and nice though, and when I run out of dye, it'll fade out naturally- no shocking roots. Who knows, I may even try a different color next!

[That all sounded a bit like a sponsored plug but I assure you, my enthusiasm is genuine and unpaid.]

Well, that's my blue hair journey for you. As promised, if you've stayed with me through all that, you will now be rewarded with good news.

Not only did I get the job I wanted as discussed in my last post, but I got the pay I wanted/deserved. 

If you don't want to go through the trouble of reading the last post, here's a quick recap: I went to a job interview, nailed it, they called me to ask if I wanted the job even before I left the parking lot, then HR decided I should get paid half of what I was initially told I would get because they felt my past experience didn't transfer despite clearly not really knowing what it actually was. 

I decided I couldn't let that stand and needed to write an email to HR but put it off until the next day so I could calm down a bit. I had M help me write a professional yet clearly disgruntled email (he's far more used to corporate emailing than me and his help was invaluable), copying the principal I interviewed with (did I mention the job was with an elementary school? Well, I am now if I didn't before). He emailed me back soon afterward, apologized for HR, and said he'd speak to them. The very next day I got a new offer email with the pay I was expecting and had a delightful conversation with the principal about how he knew I was perfect for the job and was excited to have me be part of the team.

What was initially a bad situation made me even more excited to start the job. The people I'm going to be directly working with fought to get me on board and already value what I'm bringing to the table- a super nice feeling, especially given how things have been at my current job. On top of that, I'm super proud of myself for not giving up and standing up for myself. In situations like this, I often get very anxious and overwhelmed and would normally opt to walk away and try again somewhere else. This time though, I decided I had had enough of applying to jobs and interviews and all that, so I wasn't going to give up that easy. And now, I've put in my two weeks notice and am excited to start a new adventure at the beginning of November!

Here's to embracing change!

Get a Move On: Angry Walk

A lot has happened since last we met. I went on a much needed vacation where I visited my family. The day before I ventured on my 8 hour drive to Maryland however, I had a job interview.

A very successful job interview.

So successful that I, well, got the job. They called me before I was even out of the parking lot. 

Oh don't get too excited though. I'm not finished. 

Upon my return and as I wait in quarantine for my covid-19 test to come back, I had a Zoom meeting with HR where I discovered they apparently did not value my experience as much as I was lead to believe and the point at which they put me on their pay scale was shockingly, disappointingly low and quite at odds with what I was told from the get-go. 

I feel under appreciated- a feeling I'm too familiar with in my current job to accept it going into a new one-  and frustrated at the apparent lack of communication between the people I interviewed with who spoke excitedly about how well my experience would benefit the position, versus HR who, well, clearly doesn't see it that way. I had someone describe my current job as "just watching kids, making sure they don't run off," an insultingly gross underestimation of what I actually do, as a way to justify paying me less, turning what started out as disappointment into anger. 

Now, I know these things happen, job hunting takes persistence, yada yada yada, and I do have a couple emails to write before I'm completely out of the running here (I was excited about the job itself so I gotta try all I can to get that good ol' livable wage) but now, now was time for an Angry Walk.

Luckily it's Fall which, in my opinion, is the perfect time for an Angry Walk because the point of an Angry Walk is to come home with a lot less anger than you started out with and how can you not cool down both literally and metaphorically when you're walking through this?

[Quick interlude: look at my sneakers. Look at them. If you are in the market for athletic-ish type shoes (especially if your athletics mostly include putzing around outside and/or getting forced into sporting activities with kids), may I recommend these Merrell Alpines. They are the ideal blend of extreme comfort, style, and delightful color combos.]

I walked, I Angry Texted a friend, I took pictures. Lots of pictures.

I initially started out walking around town but quickly realized fall was in full force so it would be a shame to not find some more trees to walk through. This is the start of the rail trail I walked on, which is where many of these pictures come from.

This guy appears to be on fire. He's showing off more than his surrounding friends. You go small dude.

I do love some good bridge shots. What makes foliage shots even better? Water!

In high-emotion situations, I find I shut down, completed unable to express myself adequately, and often the only way to snap out of it is a good Angry Walk. This time was no exception. I feel far better, ready to move on to my next steps, whatever those may be. 

And at the very least, I know what I'm worth. 

I hope you enjoyed my Angry Walk through some delightful New England foliage as much as I did (though I hope you didn't start out as angry). Now, I'm going to self-medicate with a mini-binge of The Great British Bake Off and dyeing my hair blue. 

Yup.