Ah yes. Here we are at the brink of a new year after the freak show that was 2020. Though we'll need more than a turn of the calendar page to put out this dumpster fire, it's hard not to greet this year with a little more hope than usual, embracing change a little bit more. [I wrote that bit before the stuff in the capitol went down but I'm still remaining hopeful nevertheless]
I'm not especially keen on new years resolutions (I procrastinate enough without waiting for a new year to make changes, strike while the iron's hot I say. Or not, as is usually the case for me) but all things considered, it feels like a good year to make some. And, you know, actually stick to them. I've been mulling it over the past few days and I think I've come up with a definitive list but first, I remembered I did, in fact, give a go last year, back when I thought it was going to be a "normal" year, and it seems right to go over it and see well I did (or didn't do).
2020
1. Plan my wedding.
Well I didn't plan it but I did postpone it. Does that count? In my defense, there was a whole global pandemic thing going on.
2. Better time management - less phone scrolling, more doing.
This year I discovered Reddit so I don't think I achieved this but on the plus side, it encouraged my plant and cross stitch hobbies.
3. Make more things.
I'm not sure how to really measure this, something I apparently failed to think of when I made this goal. How many "making hours" did I put in the year before? This year? Dunno, but I most definitely didn't lose anything in giving this a shot.
4. Exercise.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha
5. Get a new job.
I completed this one with flying colors! Go me!
6. Keep track of the books I've read.
I did not do this but I most definitely want to this year. Despite more time spent at home, I fell into a pretty serious reading slump so if I did keep track, I know I'd be disappointed. Perhaps keeping track will give me the boost I need.
7. Keep track of this blog.
I... wow I actually did this one. 2/7, not too shabby.
I think overall I did pretty well and clearly a few of those goals are going to roll over to this year, though maybe in a modified form. I've done a great deal of self-reflection over the course of the year (who hasn't?) and I think my new list will reflect that. I realized it's not enough to make sweeping goals, it's important to get to the core of why I want to make those goals and plan accordingly (I still can't seem to not make sweeping goals though). And without further ado, here's this list!
2021
1. Take better care of myself.
The classic new year, new me goal but instead of just saying 'exercise' or 'eat better,' I've worded it like this because, though I do need to do those 2 things for sure (I have a wedding dress that's dangerously close to being a bit too snug), I also have to address the things that keep me on the couch eating comfort food and confront my current coping methods (will getting a donut make me feel better/less anxious about putting off doing that Important Adult Thing, or will, you know, actually doing the Important Adult Thing make me feel better?). My brain has been a big hinderance in this department and not allowing myself to get on a big downward brain-blah spiral (that's definitely the official psychological term) will vastly improve everything else. I haven't been able to stick to an eating better/exercising routine before but this year, by working harder to get my brain on board, I hope to change that.
2. Get married.
I don't know if this can technically be on the list as a new years resolution but given the circumstances, this may not be so cut-and-dry this year so on the list it goes. I remain hopeful of course but who knows what August 28th, my round-two wedding date, will look like this year. I need to be more on the ball with my planning, ready to be flexible and make tentative/last minute plans because guys- I postponed my wedding once, I am not postponing it a second time.
3. Read more... and keep track.
I've gotten into the biggest reading slump of my life this year, which is weird given the fact that I've been at home far more than normal. Reading got slotted in my brain as Something Not Productive somehow and I'd pass it by for activities deemed more important by whatever arbitrary rules my brain put there that day (see #1). This is a gross affront to Young Ashley who, since she could read, schlepped a book around with her absolutely everywhere just in case she got a chance to read. Keeping track of the books I've read will hopefully help and it'd be nice to look back on once the year's over.
4. Start the projects I want to start... then follow through.
I'm a dreamer, what can I say. I have a lot of grand schemes, but I also have a propensity for couch sitting. For this resolution, I've combined #'s 2 and 3 of 2020's goal and decided to take a good, hard look at how I spend my time each day. I guess I could've put very specific projects on the list but decide that's no good. If it doesn't work out (which happens of course), then I've failed at my resolution. BUT if I just work toward something every day that makes me proud, no matter the end result, I've succeeded.
I suppose that sounds like I'm ignoring the second part of the resolution but accepting things aren't working is a different animal than not following through, not finishing them. I often don't start things because my negative brain (again, see #1) insists it won't work out. Giving myself some encouragement with a lot of leeway is how I'm trying to get around it. This year is, hopefully, the year of trying things without the fear of them not working out.
And there we go. That's it. Four goals. Four fairly vague goals. That goes against pretty much all goal setting advice I know, but that's what's going to work for me. I'm not trying to get stuff done like your average to do list, I'm trying to make positive, lasting life changes and I believe that requires a little flexibility. We'll se how that works out.
Cheers to 2021!
I think the most important thing here is your clear desire for change - you WANT these things to happen. I get that sweeping goals are your thing, but as you noted from last year's "make more" goal, you didn't set any way to measure that and it wasn't specific. Vague goals kind of let us off the hook before we even try!
ReplyDeleteAnd I do get the Death Spiral (also a highly technical term) of brain-blah. It is hard to get out of.
Try something small, easily accomplishable, easily measured. Counting your books is a good one. Do you have a nice little notebook? Put it and a pretty pen near your book stack (I know you have one!).
For big goals, like your projects, start drilling down.
What is the first project?
What do you need to start it?
How much time will it take?
Where can you set aside some chunks of time? (eg. Sunday Crafternoons!)
How can you commit to that time? Put it in your calendar? Whatever it takes for you to say, "No, right now is X time, let's do that later." This is how I make myself do my Mental Health Walk.
Sorry, I'm overstepping here (I just want to help, which is my own thing to deal with), Ashley. Big hug to you! I support you! :)
I've continued to think about it and this list is more of a list of directions I want my goals to take, because you're right, they're way too vague. It helped to get it all out though, and to hear your input, so thank you! I'll continue to refine as I figure myself out (hopefully, haha).
DeleteI've set aside a fancy notebook from my stash (I can't resist fancy notebooks!) to write my book list in and M wants to read more too so we're setting aside time to read together. It's been a nice first step.
Good luck with your renewed goals. I like keeping a list of what I read each year. In 2020, I am proud that I read 29 books especially as I had read only about 12 in 2019. I keep a list in the back of my diary. Do you note the books you've read in a book or on your phone? X
ReplyDeleteI might remember to do it more if I kept a list on my phone but I'm a sucker for a fancy notebook so I have one I plan to keep my book list in. Good on you for reading so many books this past year!
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