Some 2020 joke

I'm usually not into new years resolutions and often new year blog posts make me roll my eyes but here I am. I'm what I like to call an aggressive procrastinator and if I waited until the new year to make sweeping goals and attempts at life changes, well, I'd get even less done than usual. I don't need that kind of excuse.

As much as I struggle with it, I'm a firm believer it the fact that there's no time like the present but hey, here we are at the beginning of a new year, relatively shortly after I became more dedicated to make some big changes for myself. Seems like maybe, just this once, it makes sense for me to make out a list of resolutions. So here we go.

This painting by Paul Gauguin entitled Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? is one of my absolute favorites. I think it fits the introspective new year vibe pretty well.

1. Plan my freaking wedding already (it's in August!!!).  Every time someone asks me what plans I've made so far, I want to actually be able to tell them something other than "Well I have my venue." That's... well that's only the tip of the iceberg so when they inevitably ask what else I've decided, I just laugh, maybe possibly in a desperate/panicky type of way. Party planning (and, uh, parties in general) aren't my forte and I generally despise the thought of having all that attention focused on me, but if pressed, I'd have to admit that throwing an awesome wedding is important to me so I should give it the attention it deserves. I'm particularly fond of my super special dude so maybe I'm biased but celebrating the magic that is Us is 100% party worthy.

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2. Better time management. I had big plans today but I spent a lot of it scrolling on my phone and sitting in front of the TV sipping coffee I kept having to reheat because I kept forgetting about it, watching things I didn't even care about. This always makes me feel like shit but somehow that never stops me from doing it. I hope to end that vicious cycle this year. As a bonus, accomplishing this will allow me to have the occasional do nothing/100% relaxation days without all the guilt

3. Make more things, anything and everything. One of the best things I can do for my mental health personally, is to keep my mind and hands busy (there's no telling where my brain will go if left unsupervised...). My mom recently gave me one of her spare sewing machines so I'm really looking forward to honing new skills- as well as current ones- this year.

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4. Exercise, ugh. The one thing on every person's list. Must have something to do with the fact that exercise does wonders for your physical and mental health and makes you feel so much better in general, I dunno.

5. New job! I've gotten to a spot where my near miss a month ago is becoming more a confidence booster than a disappointment. I want to make creating (and sticking to) a schedule for job searching a priority. Hopefully, after far too long just talking about it, I actually make some moves.

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6. Keep track of the books I read. This is entirely unnecessary but I want to do it anyway because... I don't really know why. It might have something to do with the large bin of books my mom brought me from my old room back home, but I really want to make my way through all the books I currently own (some may say I have too many, I  personally don't think there's such a thing...) but haven't read yet before buying new ones. It'd be interesting and motivating to keep track and see how many I get through in a year- I did it once and read 30. This last year I didn't keep track but doubt I made it close to that- maybe this year I can blow 30 out of the water! As a bonus, reading can be a good mindfulness activity so finding a way to encourage me to put more effort into it isn't such a bad idea.

7. Aaaaand finally; continue keeping track of all of the above on this blog. I'm still getting into the rhythm of things but I'm enjoying it all the same. I want to do better at following through with the things that I start so I'm kinda excited to see where this goes because I definitely don't want to abandon it.

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I was going to sign off there but think it's important to add all the good things that happened to me in 2019. Regardless of how your year was, it contributed to how you're going to deal with the upcoming year so it's important to focus on all the good things. You can use that as fodder to propel you through this brand new year. Here's some of my good shit:

1. I got engaged to someone who makes me feel more at ease than I ever thought possible- both with them and myself. Plus, as a bonus, he makes me laugh at LEAST once every single day, no matter what mood he's in (he danced during the theme song for every freaking classic Doctor Who episode because I thought it was hilarious. That's a shit ton of funny dances guys).

2. I found out I was going to be an aunt! I can't wait to meet my little nephew cub!

3. I went to Japan and it was AMAZING.

4. Became a successful plant mom.

5. I got to spent more time with my family than usual this year.

6. I got serious about doing actual work to make changes in my life for the better, more so than I have in the past.

Not too shabby, huh? Well, I think that about wraps 'er up. Happy new year guys!